Why is Domestic Violence Normalised in India?

Domestic violence is defined as "violence or other abuse in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation". Abuse can be in the form of physical, emotional, psychological, verbal, and sexual abuse. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2019 reports that a majority (30.9%) of all the 4.05 lakh cases under crimes against women are registered under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC). The section deals with ‘cruelty by husband or his relatives.

Domestic violence is a highly underreported crime in India. This is due to many reasons, including victim blaming, shame, financial dependency, fear of increased violence, and lack of faith in the legal system. While it is true that the majority of domestic abuse is experienced by women, men can also be the victims of the same. Currently in India, domestic violence laws view crime as something that is only experienced by women and perpetrated by men. This, along with the fact that men might face more ridicule by society, explains why men seldom report domestic abuse. Until the 20th century, most legal systems around the world didn't even recognize domestic violence as a crime and considered it more as a familial and personal issue. In the West, the Second Wave of Feminism brought awareness to this issue and subsequent change. In India, laws against domestic violence faced by women were passed in 1983 - but only in 2005 did it expand to include all forms of abuse. Although the law has progressed, the general mindset of Indian society hasn't. 42% of men and 52% believe that it is "okay" for a man to beat his wife. It is evident from this that women are raised to believe that it is normal to face abuse in their future relationships. In most families, men receive more privilege as they are taken care of the women in the household. Children grow up with the mindset that women perform the role of caretakers while men are the ones that receive this care. Girls are then married off into families, where they are expected to perform certain roles and keep their husband and in-laws happy. If they dare to show even slight autonomy, it is met with abuse. And although one might think this occurs only in rural areas, domestic violence is prevalent in urban as well as rural areas all over the country.

But before any changes can occur, it is important to understand that this is a societal and structural issue. The collective society believes that domestic violence is the problem of a man and his wife and doesn't deserve intervention since it is personal to them. It is viewed as a man's right to impose violence or other forms of abuse on his wife if she isn't subservient to him. This mindset is not only harmful to women but men as well. This embodiment of toxic masculinity is the reason why male victims of domestic abuse often do not speak up about their experiences because men are expected to be "strong" and it is viewed as shameful if a woman imposes harm on her husband. Medieval standards of masculinity are the main reason for the normalization of domestic violence in India. Also, women are trained to keep silent no matter what they face. Only when these notions of what is expected from a man and woman are dismantled can domestic violence be viewed for what it is - unacceptable.

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